


and people like us were always born to be tragedies anyway

by catharsia



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M, Pepper and Tony are still married but Steve and Tony also kiss and are in love, Steve and Tony go to Vormir, Unhappy Ending, surprise surprise its an, this is just 2000 words of me making them suffer im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 09:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19017577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catharsia/pseuds/catharsia
Summary: 'The stone should be up there,' Steve says, gesturing out in front of them to where the craggy rocks rise into mountains, towering up into the ashy grey air. 'It matches Nebula's description, don't you think?''Looks like it,' Tony says, his voice coming out shockingly evenly. Steve gives him a determined, grim-but-light smile, and as he steps forwards toward the mountains, Tony has a sudden impulse to call out; to grab his arm; to stop him and tell him everything he suspects about what is ahead. Thanos and Gamora went to Vormir. Thanos and the stone came back from Vormir. The equation has a horrible balance, doesn't it?or: steve and tony go to vormir instead of clint and natasha. angst ensues.





	and people like us were always born to be tragedies anyway

Tony feels horribly disoriented as they arrive on Vormir.

Part of it is, you know, the obvious. _Time travel_. God. It had sounded ridiculous when Scott had first said it to him, leaning forward with eyes that held a strange mixture of anger and puppylike desperation in Tony's lake house. Now, days later (or years earlier) that ridiculousness remains totally undiminished. Tony's seen some strange things throughout the years, but this might just win out.

So, yeah, time travel leaves him feeling disoriented. There might be another factor in the unmoored, shaky feeling creeping over his limbs though: Steve. Beside him. In the flesh. And, hell, Tony knows they've made up and they're working together again but it doesn't make things any less surreal. He forces himself to hold his eyes ahead - to not glance over at Steve every three seconds to make sure he's real, as is the temptation. Steve's senses are finely attuned - _too_ finely attuned - and Tony doubts he would appreciate Tony suddenly going manic on him. They have a job to do.

'Tony?' Steve says, and Tony realises in his determination not to hyperfixate on Steve he's totally zoned him out. Great.

'Yeah?' he says, much too shortly, trying to seem like he's paying attention. Steve appears to see through it, though: his lips, strangely enough, quirk upwards slightly, and Tony thinks, with a slight, detached feeling of pain, it's out of fondness.

The tension settles more firmly into his chest. He hopes he's wrong about what's lying ahead for them.

(He's rarely wrong about things, anymore.)

'The stone should be up there,' Steve says, gesturing out in front of them to where the craggy rocks rise into mountains, towering up into the ashy grey air. 'It matches Nebula's description, don't you think?'

 _Oh_ , thinks Tony. _Nebula's description_. Tony thinks he might know Nebula's description of this - might understand it - rather better than Steve, and bites down an insane urge to collapse crying and shaking and laughing onto the ground.

'Looks like it,' he says, his voice coming out shockingly evenly. Steve gives him a determined, grim-but-light smile, and as he steps forwards toward the mountains, Tony has a sudden impulse to call out; to grab his arm; to stop him and tell him everything he suspects about what is ahead. _Thanos and Gamora went to Vormir. Thanos and the stone came back from Vormir._ The equation has a horrible balance, doesn't it?

He doesn't say anything, though, because Steve can't know. Steve can't know because he would try to stop things and Tony - Tony can't let that happen.

So they walk together, side by side, up towards the peak of the blackened hills. the air tastes cloying and burnt but remains strangely breathable; Tony's chest rises and falls normally as they progress, which, to be honest, is an abnormal event in itself these days. Heart problems and a tendency to panic and hyperventilate will do that to you. They walk in silence, but it's not uncomfortable, just devoid of words, until suddenly Steve stills.

'Look up ahead,' he says quietly. 'There's someone here.'

Tony does, squinting through the gloom, because his senses aren't as good as a super soldier's, dammit, and at length he can make out what Steve is talking about, a floating spectral blur half-concealed beneath an archway of rock.

'Be alert,' Steve says, and Tony half wants to laugh because _what else would I be, Steve_? but then they're moving forwards and he dutifully tenses his hands, ready to activate his repulsors, as they go, Steve's shield held up in front of him. Actually, half over him and half over Tony, which is kind of ridiculous - _hello, suit of armour here_ \- but Tony has a feeling Steve wouldn't shift his stance even if he pointed it out, so he stays silent.

_Where is Gamora? Where is Gamora?_

It takes maybe another two hundred meters until they've reached the figure - floating, hidden away beneath a tattered black cloak, like some expensive halloween cosplay of doom. Tony almost wants to roll his eyes. He doesn't: he feels too sick, too apprehensive.

'Welcome, Steven, son of Joseph; Anthony, son of Howard,' the figure says, voice deep and low and so resonant it seems to emanate from the rocks around them and not someone's mouth.

 _Joseph?_ Tony thinks quietly, and, wow, he doesn't even laugh at that revelation. His head must be seriously fucked right now.

Beside him, Steve lets out a hiss, and Tony looks at him in alarm.

'Schmidt?' Steve snaps, and the figure emerges into the light to reveal a face like a garish red skull.

'Steve, you know this guy?' Tony asks warily, repulsors very much still raised, and Steve nods, sounding like he's trying to grind his teeth to shards against each other as he talks. 'He's... he was HYDRA. And he died. A long time ago.'

'That was, indeed, a lifetime ago,' says Red Skull, still maybe three meters in front of them, feet now touching the ground. Tony has a hard time believing him to be HYDRA. He's creepy, yes, but he also doesn't seem... human. 'It is my curse, now, to guide others to the Soul Stone. For all eternity.'

Tony's aware there's a slight convulse that passes over his own face in response to that, although he's not quite sure why. 'Well, perfect. Guide us, then,' he says, arms lowering slightly as his repulsors whine and power down.

Red Skull looks at him for a moment - Tony thinks. It's a little hard to tell. He feels Steve shift beside him slightly; he hasn't put down his shield - if it's moved at all, it's now covering even more of Tony - and then Schmidt nods. 'very well.'

\--

They walk onwards, progressing up through the mountain, climbing higher and higher until they emerge out onto a cliff - a flat expanse, silhouetted against the dark pinkish sky. It's almost beautiful, Tony has to admit.

He gazes over at the edge of the cliff - at where it falls away, and how he can see nothing beyond.

_Where is Gamora?_

His chest clenches even further.

'What you seek lies in front of you,' Red Skull announces, halting to let Steve and Tony move past him. 'As does what you fear.'

'What do you mean?' Steve demands, tone biting. 'How do we get the stone?' and Tony closes his eyes, feeling the stinging wind rush through him, physically blocked by the suit but still seeming to rush over his soul and leave him and his past and all his fears stripped, exposed, naked. Powerless. He hates the feeling.

'Soul holds a special place among the infinity stones,' Red Skull continues, a monologue to an impending disaster. 'There is a price.'

'What price?' Steve snaps. Tony holds his eyes closed. He can't bear to look at him.

'The stone demands a sacrifice. In order to take it, you must lose that which you love. A soul... for a soul.'

Steve stumbles, then, as Tony's never seen him do when actually, physically thrown off balance. 'What? You're lying.'

'Ask your friend, then,' Schmidt intones, and that's when Steve finally raises his eyes to meet Tony's.

Tony stares at him, helpless. He can't lie to him. Everything is written there, on his face; his insistent, persistent fears confirmed.

 _Thanos and Gamora went to Vormir,_ Nebula tells him in his head, a memory from years in the future from now. _Only Thanos returned_. And Quill, Quill's words to him on Thanos's ship, endlessly mocking him.

_Where is Gamora? Where is Gamora? Where is Gamora?_

'You knew,' Steve whispers, voice suddenly sounding torn open and ruined. 'You knew about this and you didn't say anything - you've been planning to- to-'

Tony doesn't deny it. He's sorry, god, he's sorry, but he doesn't need to say that. He doesn't need to say anything. It's all written nakedly over his eyes.

 _I'll go to Vormir_ , he'd said, in the planning room. The others had acquiesced easily enough. He'd glanced at Nebula, her words ringing through his head. He'd known that, if he was right, no one else could die for this - he wouldn't let them. And he won't let Steve, now, either, because Steve is going to live - he's going to live and survive this and he's going to be happy.

'I won't sacrifice you,' Steve snaps, eyes harsh. 'I'll do this.'

 _No_ , Tony thinks, _no, no,_ and he knows it won't work as a strategy, but he may as well try, so he opens his mouth and chokes out: 'That won't work. I don't love you.'

Steve's eyes narrow. 'Tony, I know that's bullshit.'

Tony wants to laugh. Well, yes. Of course it is. He loves Steve, loves him viscerally and horribly and he'd lie to him about it if he could - he'd spit all the vile, bitter things he's ever thought about Steve right back into his face, if it would work, if it would convince Steve that Tony hates him, so Steve won't try to die - but Steve won't fall for it.

'Tony,' Steve says, and he's so close to him - when did that happen? - cupping Tony's face, gently, desperately. 'You have a family. A daughter. They need you, Tony. You never wanted to join this, because you didn't want to leave them. Please, just let me-'

'No,' Tony says, cutting him off in a tone which normally would end any argument. 'I love them, but I knew what I was doing when I joined you. So did Pepper. We made that choice, Steve. You remember, right? Whatever it takes.'

'Tony,' Steve says, and oh, he's actually crying, large tears rolling out of the corners of his eyes and he's sobbing worse than Tony's ever seen him. It's so incongruous to his normal stoicism, so strange and vulnerable, that it makes Tony's heart physically hurt (and what a horrible cliché).

He'd relent, if the other option wasn't Steve lying dead.

'Cap, they need you,' Tony says, as gently as he can. 'The Avengers need you to lead them. They always have. This won't end the fight, but it will give you a chance to win. Whatever it takes. Say it.'

Steve only seems to grow more upset, for a moment, but Tony keeps gripping his arm, insistent, and Steve manages to still enough to repeat, 'whatever it takes.'

Tony looks up at him, twisting a small smile onto his own lips, then leans into Steve's chest. Steve's arms circle around him, tightly, automatically, and then they're pulling apart enough to press their foreheads together, Steve leaning down into Tony (he's too tall, really) and then their lips are touching, gently, carefully, and it's strange because they never kissed this slowly even back when they had all the time in the world.

'Come on,' Tony murmurs, and then he's stepping forwards, shifting towards the cliff, insistently guiding Steve along with him as they move.

'Tony, please,' Steve says, but Tony's shaking his head, eyes locked onto Steve's because it's the last time - the last time he'll ever get to do this.

'Let me go,' he breathes quietly, and they're just holding hands, now, on the edge of the cliff. The pink sunset spreads all around them, lighting Steve's tear-streaked face in a strangely soft glow.

Tony's lips shake, slightly, and then he steps backwards one last time - into nothingness. Steve's grip remains vice-like on his hand, and then Tony's dangling over the canyon, and Steve is leaning out, still holding onto him, and Tony doesn't have breath to speak so he just mouths the words: _let me go, I love you, I'm sorry_ , but Steve is crying so hard again that Tony's not sure Steve can make out what he's trying to say.

Then Tony's falling. Steve is above him, receding, and Tony's eyes stay painfully open and he tumbles down, past the cliffs, onwards and inevitably downwards. He's getting further and further away but his vision remains strangely clear, pinpointed on Steve's face still, everything else fading out, and he can almost imagine its 2014 and he's just falling from the tower and J.A.R.V.I.S. will send out the armour to catch him any time now.

Then he hits the ground. Crack. Agony. Nothing.

Then he's dead.

**Author's Note:**

> vormir is a stony angst dream setting because there are just so, so many ways to write it and for some reason i have written about six of them and not got bored. i probably won't post the others, but i could do a continuation chapter to this with steve and the other avengers' reactions and maybe more of an emotional resolution for steve?
> 
> also, like i mentioned in the tags, i have no clue what's going on with tony and steve and tony and pepper in this universe. i think maybe tony and steve had a thing which got broken off with civil war, and then tony got married to pepper and loved her but he was always lowkey also pining for steve and pepper knew that and was okay with it? who knows tbh.
> 
> hopefully you enjoyed (?) this xx


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